March Quotables!

Hey, everybody!! Time for more quotables!! There are some pretty good ones, too... but I was noticing that most of them involve Sarah. To which she replied, "Quotables wouldn't be quotables without Sarah!!"

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Dad: Do we have anything to watch tonight? I mean nothing foolish…
Sarah: Foolish?! Are you implying…
D: ... like from England?
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Sarah: I'm glad I don't live in Venice because I would always have an overwhelming feeling to just JUMP into one of the canals.
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(Abby is banging her spoon on the sides of her mug as she stirs her tea, and its annoying Hannah, who’s trying to think…)
Hannah: Abby could you PLEASE stir that tea a little more quietly?!
Sarah: Tsk, tsk. She would have been in third class on the Titanic.
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Abby: Here's a bookmark for you Sarah. You put it in a BOOK.
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Sarah is teaching Abby language arts, and the assignment is "Find the words in your literature passage that can complete these sentences."

1) Today, I grow. Yesterday, I _____________
2) Today, I tell. Yesterday, I ______________, etc…

S: Today, I grow. Yesterday, I...
A: ... Shrunk?!?!
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Sarah: You know what's really scary in The Little Mermaid? The mermen. There like boom, zoop, boom! (Gesturing with hands to show their figure) No one who lives in the ocean could be that fit and tan.
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Sarah: Whhhhaaaattsss this? (pulls half of a toothpick out of her burger)
Hannah: A toothpick.
S: (wailing) Half!!
H: Yeah… and here's the other half (holds it up)
S: oh, phew! Thought I'd swallowed it!!
(everyone laughs)
S: Well would y'all be worried too?
Joe: Only if I was a goat!
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Roberta (imitating 'Mister Roberts'): One drop of hair tonic... for age!
Abby: You know... Hair tonic isn't very good for you.
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Hannah: You have five fingers on each hand, right?
Sarah: Last time I counted I did.
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Sarah is getting ready to go to a concert. Hannah will be playing the piano and Sarah will be turning the pages for her, and she’s just now finishing getting dressed…

Sarah: I don’t like these shoes. They make my feet look huge!
Mom: No, I was actually thinking that they looked smaller. Lilliputian feet. Or something.
S: (moaning) No, no, they look like duck feet!
Dad: No, they don’t – but if you really want duck feet, I can lend you my flippers.
S: (firmly) No.
M: Yeah, that would be perfect! Then you can walk up there (demonstrates waddling in flippers) and say, “Hello, everyone! I’m here to flip Hannah’s pages!”
S: I am not believing this. (walks into Hannah’s room)
H: You know I actually like that flipper idea. I think that people would laugh. (Hannah is overcome with gales of laughter as soon as she takes one look at Sarah’s face.)
S: (through gritted teeth) They certainly would. Well, I’d have to grow a moustache.
H: Whatever for?! To complete the walrus look?
S: Duh. So no one would recognize me.