Quoteables!

WHOA. It's been forever. As Sarah's been overheard saying, we're feeling "as lazy as the guy who invented the Japanese flag."
You have our apologies. And you have our new round of quotables.
HAPPY 2013!

Hannah: That’s your speciality.

Sarah: I’ve only made it once.

Hannah: Then why do I think of you every time I think of chicken spaghetti?

Abby: Hannah. I've been up for FIVE hours. I have a right to be sleepy again.

Hannah: That horse is foaming at the mouth. They better get it a drink.
Sarah: Oh, no. He's just... thirsty.

Hannah: I don't have any favorite names.
Ro: Like none that you like?
Hannah: Well not off the top of my head. If you say a name, I'll be like, "yeah it's nice," or whatever. If you ask me a name I might be like OH THAT'S MY FAVORITE NAME and the next day I forgot it.
Ro: Do you like Tristan?
Hannah: Sure
Dad: I know a guy named Tristan.
Ro: Oh who is he?
Dad: A guy.
Ro: Anything else?
Dad: Named Tristan.

Abby: Wait, I have a question. Your gall bladder is in your toe?

Hannah: We have teachers aids in the bookstore. Stuff for teachers... to help them teach.

Sarah: I'm feeling lazier than the guy who invented the Japanese flag

Abby: Does eating healthy help people get fitnetized?

Ro: I think I'll make this my profile pic.
Hannah: No.
Ro: Would you pay me if I did?
Hannah: No.
Ro: Five bucks?
Hannah: If anything, you should be paying me. I took the picture.

Hannah: Who do they think I am, Michelangelo?

Dad: Abby, you look kinda like a stick of gum

Sarah: I can do anything if I can keep a straight face.

Ro: You guys are cute.
Dad: Yeah you're cute, Abby. I'm handsome.

Hannah: (on shower cleaning) I feel like I’m brushing teeth… the teeth of a big, ceramic… whale.

Hannah: Oh, Dean Martin sings it!

Dad: That’s cuz he’s a good Italian boy.

Hannah: Dean Martin was ITALIAN?!

Mom: That isn’t his real name.

Dad: No. It’s Deano Martino.

Mom: People think you’re just so funny.

Ro: We are!

Ro: I don’t understand that movie.

Hannah: I don’t either. I’ve never seen it.

Ro: I’ve never seen it either.

Abby reciting “America the Beautiful…”

Abby: “Oh beautiful, oh beautiful…”

Sarah: No!

Abby: Right. “Oh beautiful, oh beautiful…”

Sarah: No!

Abby: WHAT IS IT THEN?

Confabulations of Candidness and Wit

In OTHER words... QUOTABLES!!

for your enjoyment -- original, organic hilarity... made fresh on the farm every day.
much love!
from us.

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Hannah: Oh, that character is gonna turn out crooked.
Sarah: Yeah, he has a dark past, I can tell.
H: Yeah. And dark hair.

**disclaimer... Hannah has decided... it doesn't matter... what color hair you have... Mr. Tulkinghorn (Bleak House) is a blond... Ian (National Treasure)... the list goes on.

Roberta: How do they set a kid’s bone when it’s broken like that?
Sarah: The same way they do a human’s…

Sarah: I’m waiting for a tall, brown-eyed, blonde surfer dude.
Hannah: Oh, he’s blond.
S: Yeah, but he’s not tall or brown-eyed.
H: Gotta take what you can get!
S: I don’t have to get it, so why should I take it?

Sarah: How can you be a jerk while playing Monopoly?

Hannah: Guys, we are so… sooo…
Natalie: We’re so AWESOME!
H: Well. I WAS going to say “blessed.”
N: So humble.

Hannah: Dude, why are you slowing down? There’s no train coming!
Sarah: He’s just pretending to be a school bus.

Hannah's smoking up the kitchen with a hot skillet…
Mom: You better plan on helping paint the kitchen!
Hannah: I do, I do, I do!
Sarah: This ain't no wedding here, Hannah.

Mom: Dad hasn't gotten as many offers from [that company] this year and —
S: *looking at dad who's drinking out of the company's mug* AAANNDDD... Your still drinking out of their mug?!?!

Tyler: Well, I doubt your family is all sane.
Hannah: What’s THAT supposed to mean?!
T: Well, I doubt you’d all be as much fun as you are if you were all sane.
H: You doubt too much.

*referring to Hannah and Roberta*
Sarah: wow dodo birds are obviously NOT extinct!

Hannah: Hey, did you win?
K----: No, we were playing softball.
H: So you lost.
K: We didn’t lose.
H: But you didn’t win.
K: Yes, but I didn’t run.
H: I said “did you WIN,” not “did you RUN.”
K: Oh. Well, we won AND I didn’t run.
H: So YOU didn’t run but someone ran.
K: Well, obviously! We WON, didn’t we?
H: I’m not sure anymore.

Sarah: Don't eat that chili - it's too spicy!
Joe: Whooooo, boy!! That is kinda hot!
S: Really Joe... you don't have to eat it. There's no girls outside of the family around to impress.

Dad: where's Sarah?
Roberta: in the shower.
D: Sarah what are you doing in there?
S: I'm taking a shower?!?!

When Prince Albert gets a letter in The Young Victoria….
S: To “Your Serene Highness”?!?! If I were him I'd be like "Albert, Albert, it's Albert!"

Words of Wisdom - Spring 2012

HIGH time for another round of... QUOTABLES!! 

So here's a collection from Spring 2012... our Pittelkow genius being revealed to the world. I hope it makes your day. =) 

...

Mr. S: I see that your personality comes out very well in the way you write.

Hannah: Yes, sir. I’m afraid it does.

Hannah: I hate to bring up fire extinguishers at the moment, because, well, fire extinguishers are not very romantic.

Tyler: It’s better than drinking milk with your tomatoes.

Hannah: Tyler, much of what you say makes no sense.

Anna Grace: I like your shirt, though!

Hannah: I know where Croatia is! I took geometry!

Sarah: Even if I’m not funny, I’m still funny.

Hannah: That was a quotable. I have a whole collection for you.

Sarah: Yeah, I have a collectible.

At the dinner table, there’s a discussion going on about how much blue paint Mom and Hannah bought for the bathroom ceiling…

Dad: Why’d you get so much?

Mom (teasing): Oh, we thought we’d paint all the ceilings in the house blue.

Roberta: Blue stripes.

Hannah: Yeah! Even your study.

R: and the porch!

M: It keeps the wasps from building nests. They think the ceiling is the sky.

Sarah: Wouldn’t it be easy for them to figure it out? I can just see the little wasp now. “Is that the sky?” Flies up. “No, THAT’S the sky.” Flies down. Flies up. Flies down.

H: No, all the wasp has to do is fly up to the ceiling and **bonk**. And the poor wasp has a little bloody nose and he’s all like, “Oh. That’s the ceiling.”

Tyler: I’m so tired, I think I might stay awake.

Sarah: It sounds like you're talking to a guy.
Roberta: Why?
S: Because you're talking really slow and that's what you have to do when you're trying to explain something to a guy.

Tyler (wailing): Hannah, what gonna happen to me?!?
Hannah (matter-of-factly): You're going to be okay.
Tyler: Oh.

Abby: Hannah, look on these flowers. It says on the tag "this is not a toy." and look, in Spanish. "this is not a jugete."
Hannah: Lemme see. Yep. "este no es en jugete"
A: You read Spanish??
H: Yeah. It says "this is not a toy."

Roberta: (mournfully) we were so much more organized this year.

Hannah: Goodnight, pistachio.
Sarah: Goodnight... walnut.
H: I like walnuts. I don't like... pistachios.

Sarah: Abby? Do you want to walk on my back?

Abby: Where?

S: On my back.

Sarah (singing): “Goin’ courtin’, goin’ courtin’...” I was talking to L. about that movie…

Roberta (cutting in): Oh, that is NOT a good idea.

Hannah: Oh, come on. He wasn’t THAT bad. He didn’t swoop in and steal, like, seven girls in one night.

S: No. He did worse. He got ONE girl in less than an hour.

Sarah(pointing to Joe's ice tea): May I have a taste of that ?? I'll give you a taste of my... water... *hopeful smile*

Abby: I feel stupid!

Sarah: You look stupid.

Roberta [trying on some big Umka boots]: It looks like my feet for a fur swim.

Tyler: What? It's not in the dictionary!?

Ariane: It’s spelled “…l-l. that comes after …l-a.”

Hannah: Yeah, Tyler, didn’t your mom teach you how to use a dictionary?

T: Well… she didn’t… mention…

H: She didn’t mention that it was in alphabetical order?

Quotables!!

Notable Quotables - December 2011
By the Pittelkows
Well.
Some of them, anyway. Joe didn't do much talking this month, I guess!

Dad: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.
Sarah: Yeah. A lot of the people can’t deal with the pressures of fame.
D: It’s never bothered me!!

Abby: Joe, put my hands together.

Hannah: Not now... later.
Sarah: What? Later?
H: Later.
S: Now?!

Sarah: I like these chips. They taste like July.

Hannah: I was benefiting the doubt.
Sarah: Don't doubt... the benefited!!!

Sarah: (stuffy British accent) I do not believe I deserve… (disgusted American accent) internet.

Hannah is singing in high voice outside when it's dark
Sarah: Stop it, you'll attract the coyotes!

Sarah: Oh, yeah? Was he a dweeb?
Hannah: No, he was engaged.

Sarah: When I cut Flame’s mane, I felt like I was cutting my first child's hair, ya know? I cried! I literally cried! I cried... I cried.

Mom’s getting ready to turn, and there’s another car approaching…
Mom: Don’t worry - I DO see this red truck but I'm gonna go anyway.
Sarah: Oh, it's a Dodge. It probably wouldn't be able to make it here in time anyways.

Sarah: *sarcastically* I just LOVE how they kill off perfectly healthy people in movies... just one after the other... chunk, chunk, chunk.

Roberta: WHY can't you be good for one second, Sarah?!?!?!?
Sarah: It's very hard... I find it strenuous on my health.

Sarah: Oh I like that app. It always sends me into stitches.
Abby: *totally serious* Where's stitches?!?
.
Hannah: I bet bees taste like soda. Fizzy, buzzy. I bet if soda could fly it would look like a bee.

AND! A special "guest" quotable from college...

Hannah: There’s a tailless cat running around campus.
Tyler: A tailless cat?
H: Yeah, like a cat without a tail.
T: I figured that’s what tailless meant.

yep. that's how they teach us intellectuals how to converse at college... hehe!!

Quotables (Again)

So, people... here it is! Another round of quotables *just* for you! We've cooked up some really good ones lately. Without further ado... as they always say.

Why do they ALWAYS say that?

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(Hannah and Sarah are playing a duet on the piano…)
Sarah: Don't play it so fast!
Hannah: It's a Viennese waltz!
S: Well - I'm not a Viennese player.

Joe: He has glasses, but he usually wears contacts, so you can’t tell.
Sarah: Yeah. He looks pretty good in contacts.

(Hannah is wearing a brown hat in a verrrrrry English-looking way…)
Hannah: Look, now I'm ready to go to the Ascot. Only they wear black and white.
Sarah: Yes… you’re the Ascot in sepia!

Sarah: Hey, why don't tattoos disappear?
Hannah: *pause* Is this a joke?

(Abby is hanging upside down off the edge of the couch and Hannah's in another chair, reading…)
Abby: Hannah, did you know, you're really pretty?
Hannah: Aw, thank you Abby!!
A: Even from upside down.
H: Well, I guess I'll just have to walk on my head all the time so people can see how pretty I really am!
A: Oh, don't worry - you're pretty right side up, too.
H: Thank you. That's very comforting.

Hannah: Abby, wash those rollerskates with soap and water, please?
Roberta: But then they'll get wet!

Mom: It seems I am the only one who remembers to take the chickens their slops.
Sarah: *weakly* Well.... isn't that something?

(Watching Valkyrie…)
Sarah: Look at all those Nazi flags!! Is that really necessary?!

Hannah: Isn't there something we can do to that LOUD rooster?
Sarah: Yeah. We can shoot him...

Hannah: You want a soda?
Sarah: No, I'm having Arizona sweet tea. Soda’s bad for you.... What kind of soda do we have?

Joe: Did those guys just slide down a wall??
Sarah: Yeah, Flynn is indelible.

Sarah: Don't your older children amaze you, Mom? *long pause – no answer* I guess not.

Mom: *reading* "... The British soldiers were coming nearer to the area in which the Indians..."
Roberta: Wait, where are they?
Hannah: The area.

Quotables!!

DEFINITELY high time for another round of quotables!! It's been super long, and I bet ya'll are feeling serious withdrawls. We're pretty bad... heartless!
Or, as Sarah would say, "You're heartless. Totally. As in Without. A. Heart."

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Sarah: You know (he)’s a pretty good pianist.
Hannah: Really?
S: No offense, but better than you even.
H: Wow, he must be pretty good!!

Abby: I wish I had a bruise.
Sarah: I’ll give you a bruise.

Hannah and Sarah are buying French fries for a snack, and they ask for two fountain waters to go with them…
Sarah: French fries are THAT much?!?! Well, we'll just pretend we paid for the water, too.

Roberta: Have you noticed in movies that people in love never finish their sentences?
Sarah: When I’m in love I’ll ALWAYS finish my sentences.

Abby [about to play a trick on Dad]: Oh he’ll scream! [thoughtfully] No… he won't scream. He's not a girl.

Sarah: Just exactly what are those chickens eating?
Mom: Oh, those little grass seed things that look like bugs...
S: They must have verrrry good eyesight. Well, when I get THAT close to the ground I don't see anything.

Mom: You probably just realized that your mom is human, haven't you?
Joe: Oh no, [weak laugh] I've known it for a LONG time.

Sarah: I hope I marry a guy with a long name so he won't call me "Mrs. Fill-in-the-blank."
Hannah: I think it's cute!
S: well yea I just don't want to be like Mr. and Mrs. Brown.
H: Only when he's... happy.
S: Yeah well, he might get too happy!

Sarah: During adjudication, I counted the disciples at least fifty times, and I swear about twenty times it came out there were only eleven.

Sarah [repeating a movie]: “You should call me ‘Papa,’ you know,” [looks over at Hannah] Well, YOU shouldn’t.

Watching the Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again...
Joe: That mule would not be able to follow them.
Roberta: How would you know? You've never been a mule!

March Quotables!

Hey, everybody!! Time for more quotables!! There are some pretty good ones, too... but I was noticing that most of them involve Sarah. To which she replied, "Quotables wouldn't be quotables without Sarah!!"

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Dad: Do we have anything to watch tonight? I mean nothing foolish…
Sarah: Foolish?! Are you implying…
D: ... like from England?
.
.
Sarah: I'm glad I don't live in Venice because I would always have an overwhelming feeling to just JUMP into one of the canals.
/.
.
(Abby is banging her spoon on the sides of her mug as she stirs her tea, and its annoying Hannah, who’s trying to think…)
Hannah: Abby could you PLEASE stir that tea a little more quietly?!
Sarah: Tsk, tsk. She would have been in third class on the Titanic.
.
.
Abby: Here's a bookmark for you Sarah. You put it in a BOOK.
.
.
Sarah is teaching Abby language arts, and the assignment is "Find the words in your literature passage that can complete these sentences."

1) Today, I grow. Yesterday, I _____________
2) Today, I tell. Yesterday, I ______________, etc…

S: Today, I grow. Yesterday, I...
A: ... Shrunk?!?!
.
.
Sarah: You know what's really scary in The Little Mermaid? The mermen. There like boom, zoop, boom! (Gesturing with hands to show their figure) No one who lives in the ocean could be that fit and tan.
.
.
Sarah: Whhhhaaaattsss this? (pulls half of a toothpick out of her burger)
Hannah: A toothpick.
S: (wailing) Half!!
H: Yeah… and here's the other half (holds it up)
S: oh, phew! Thought I'd swallowed it!!
(everyone laughs)
S: Well would y'all be worried too?
Joe: Only if I was a goat!
.
.
Roberta (imitating 'Mister Roberts'): One drop of hair tonic... for age!
Abby: You know... Hair tonic isn't very good for you.
.
.
Hannah: You have five fingers on each hand, right?
Sarah: Last time I counted I did.
.
.
Sarah is getting ready to go to a concert. Hannah will be playing the piano and Sarah will be turning the pages for her, and she’s just now finishing getting dressed…

Sarah: I don’t like these shoes. They make my feet look huge!
Mom: No, I was actually thinking that they looked smaller. Lilliputian feet. Or something.
S: (moaning) No, no, they look like duck feet!
Dad: No, they don’t – but if you really want duck feet, I can lend you my flippers.
S: (firmly) No.
M: Yeah, that would be perfect! Then you can walk up there (demonstrates waddling in flippers) and say, “Hello, everyone! I’m here to flip Hannah’s pages!”
S: I am not believing this. (walks into Hannah’s room)
H: You know I actually like that flipper idea. I think that people would laugh. (Hannah is overcome with gales of laughter as soon as she takes one look at Sarah’s face.)
S: (through gritted teeth) They certainly would. Well, I’d have to grow a moustache.
H: Whatever for?! To complete the walrus look?
S: Duh. So no one would recognize me.

February Quotables!

Time for more quotables!! February, though it is the shortest month, was a very productive one. We hope this bit of genuine P family humor brings a smile to your face! =)

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Hannah: Okay, so why is George Washington called the Father of our Country?
Abby: Washington, D.C.?
H: No, that’s the city they named after him. Why did they call him the Father of our Country?
A: *pause*
H: What did he do to make us call him that?
A: Uhhhh…
H: C’mon, Abby, you know!! Why do we call him the Father of our Country?
A: *wailing* Because he was such a good surveyor?!

Hannah: Okay, now we’re looking up stuff in the dictionary.
Abby: (blank look)
H: You… do… know how to look things up in the dictionary, don’t you?
A: Of course. What do you think I am, a delinquent?

Hannah: (wailing) Ooohhhh… If life were simpler, Roberta, EVERYTHING would be SO MUCH… (quietly) simpler.

Hannah: You’d better go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.
Sarah: Well, now that’s a profound statement. ‘Tomorrow is another day.’ That’s a gem. Yes, tomorrow is another day. And tomorrow. And tomorrow. And tomorrow and tomorrow.

Sarah: Hannah’s head is there, but everything in it is… gone.

Sarah: Hey, Mom, can we get John (our parakeet) a friend?
Hannah: What in the world would he want a friend for? He has his mirror. And he’s perfectly content with that.
S: He’s a lonely bird!
H: He is NOT lonely. Trust me.
S: Hannah, I know a heartbroken man when I see one.

Abby: Hannah, you want a mini Baby Ruth?
Hannah: Sure. (Abby tosses Hannah the candy)
Sarah: Hey, can I have one?
A: Awww… there’s only one left, and I was saving that up for myself!
H: C’mon, Abbs… give it to her.
(Abby reluctantly tosses candy to Sarah)
H: Now you’ve learned a lesson, Abbs. “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust does corrupt… and your sisters take all of your chocolate. By force.”

Hannah: I posted another bunch of quotables on the blog.
Sarah: Good, let me read ‘em!
H: Hey, I just noticed that you have most of the punch lines.
S: That’s cuz I’m the funniest!

Hannah: You know what? I wouldn’t have made a very good child actor. But that’s probably because I would have been a child actress.

Hannah: (cruising through town rapidly approaches a railroad track, looks both ways, and comments just before heading over the tracks…) Are there any trains coming? No? Good!
A few seconds later…
Sarah: I… think it would have been too late if there was one.
H: Naww…
S: You didn’t even slow down!
H: I coulda stopped in that short a distance! You want to see?
S: NO, thank you. Well, maybe you could have stopped, but it would have been a pitiful waste of rubber.

Quotables!

High time for another round of quotables! Hope we can make you laugh with our original, genuine, authentic P family humor!! =)

Hannah: Wow, your mandolin rang when I said that.
Sarah: Yeah. My mandolin’s very musical.

Joe: Is Jane Fairfax the villain?
Hannah: No, she’s the brunette.

Mom: So, Abby, have you got a happy heart now?
Abby: (grumpily) Yes.
*pause*
M: Okay, let me see your cheerful smile!
A: (quietly) Yes ma’am.
*issues weak smile*
M: What kind of a smile is that? Try again. Say “Yes ma’am!” and smile!
A: (through gritted teeth) I can’t smile and TALK!

Sarah: But the main character! What’s the point of that?
Roberta: Well, sometimes main characters do die, you know. Sometimes that’s the whole story.
S: Well, my main character isn’t getting killed off. He’s as healthy as a cucumber.

Abby: Hey, Mom, can I tell you a joke?
Mom: Sure.
A: Okay, so if you’re in a room with no windows or doors and no way to get out, with a mirror and a table, what do you do?
M: Uhhh…
A: (triumphantly) You look in the mirror, see what you saw, cut the table in half, and climb out the hole!!
All of us: *total silence*
A: Don’t you get it?!
Joe: (slowly) I think what you mean is… you look in the mirror… see what you saw…
Sarah: Pick up the saw, cut the table in half, put the two halves together…
A: (once again triumphant) And climb out the whole!!

Abby: Mom, you know that thing that you put around your arm so you can tell how fast your heart is going?
Mom: Oh, you mean the blood pressure cuff.
A: Yeah, well, Mom, let me tell you how fast my thumps are going.

Sarah: I don’t want to leave home just yet. You know I don’t like being alone. God said “it is not good for man to be alone,” but He didn’t say anything about Sarah.

Dad (“helping” Roberta in the kitchen): Okay, now what do I do?
Roberta: Well, you can hand me that measuring cup.
D: Okay, now what do I do?
R: Now you can get me the flour.
D: Okay, now what do I do?
R: Okay, so now you get out of the way!

Sarah (coming out of the theater after watching Tangled): Hannah, did you see, did you see? Flynn has brown eyes!! (*dreamily*) My kind of hero…

Abby: *breathless* Where did you get that? Why are you wearing my shirt?
Hannah: What?! This isn’t your shirt!
A: (deflates) Oh. It…. Isn’t….?
Seconds later…
A: Sarah, whose shirt is she wearing, mine or yours?
H: Why are you asking her? Why are you so concerned about my wardrobe?
S: Umm… that’s hers. Yours is different.
A: (shouting) HERS?!
S: Yeah, Mom got her one in California too.
A: (incredulously) Mom, you got HER a RED SHIRT?
H: (throws her hands in the air) Am I not capable of owning a red shirt?!

Quotables!!

H: (musing over why cowboys raise their hats to women out of courtesy) Doesn’t it make you wonder; I mean, where did that come from? Because they want to show off their hairdos?

Sarah: Don’t move that there.
Roberta: *pulls back hand* What?
S: That! Right there!
R: But…
S: Don’t move it, okay? Don’t move that thing right there!
R: But…
S: Just don’t!
R: But I already moved it.
S: (growling) Well, I said don’t.
R: I moved it before you said don’t.
S: *glares*
R:(long pause) …so do you mean, don’t as in don’t you dare move it again, or don’t as in travel back in time and change it so it wasn’t moved in the first place?
S: Just don’t.

Hannah, reading to Abby: Once upon a time there was a King, and all his daughters were beautiful, but the youngest was the mos-…never mind.

Sarah: So, are you going to wake up tomorrow morning?

Hannah: (puzzling out the final outcome of a card game) So…I would play this one…(taps one of her cards, looks up at Sarah, who is holding her last card in hand) and you would play that one…
Sarah: (aghast) How did you know?

Abby: Berta, will I be famous?
Roberta: Well, why would you be famous?
A: My birthday is on President’s Day. Will that make me famous?
R: No. That won’t make you famous. Why; did you want to be?
A: Well, it certainly is disappointing.

Abby: (on Johnny Weir) I am going to write him a note and say, are you a girl? I won’t tell anybody.

Hannah: Would you like to lend me some money? Like, indefinitely?

Roberta: I have a mild case of the hiccups…
Sarah: A wild case?
R: Mmmmmmild.
S: Oh.
R: You just had the wrong letter. Turn it right side up and you have the right one. (then, thoughtfully) Depending on which font you use.

Hannah: 'All the world is a stage'. Shakespeare said that, but I don’t think he knew what he was talking about.